We Lost the Baby

I called my doctors office yesterday about 3:30 to check on my HCG levels. The nurse told me that they normally don't call back about results until the following day. I told her, "Can you please check on this sooner then later? I have been waiting six days instead of the normal 2, due to the holiday weekend and I need to know for good state of mind. I just simply can't wait any longer. I need to know already if this is a viable pregnancy or not. So i can begin to heal and move on." She told me she would leave a message and get back with me. Five minutes later my NP called me to let me know that my numbers did indeed go down, so it does look like i am in the process of miscarrying. She also wanted me to come in right away to see my Doctor because she won't be in tomorrow. So I called Scott and he left work and met me there because i had to take Jackson with me. I didn't want his little ears in that office room with me. I don't know how much he would understand, but I don't want to be answering unnecessary questions from a 2 1/2 year old. This is hard enough as it is.

I knew in my heart that this was going to be the result we would be told. i was hanging on hope, but expecting the worst. My doctor told me that I most likely had a Blighted Ovum and that these were very common. But she is recommending a D&C on me due to the fact that I am still measuring 5 weeks but I am 9 weeks along. So that means that the sack has been passed away for some time now and yet my body isn't passing it on it's own. She said on a positive side as far as my body is concerned is that my uterus is nice and strong. That is why it is holding on so well. Some women will have a weak uterus and even with a viable baby, they could loose it because their body's can't stop bleeding. So when i have a healthy pregnancy it will hold. Which she knows is the truth since I had an absolutely perfect pregnancy with Jackson. I was sent home and told to think about when i would like to have my DandC. She said if i refused one she couldn't make me, but she doesn't encourage me waiting any longer then 2 weeks due to the fear of infection. My body is just taking too long to do what it should have done already 4 weeks ago at least.

This was one thing I really didn't want to do, but I understand her reasoning. I know some women that had to have an emergency D and C a few years ago and it was pretty scary. I don't want to have to go through that either. My doctor also told me that i didn't need to wait any longer to TTC after a D and C like I thought i did. So that is a relief. I am sad, but at the same time i am glad i can just move on and move ahead. One day at a time, we will heal. Knowing is better then waiting. Thank you for all of your prayers and if you wouldn't mind to keep continuing with them to give us a healing heart and also quick healing of my body.