Holy Heartburn

I didn't have it at all with my Jackson, except for the last two weeks of my pregnancy before delivering him. But it has already started up for me! Last night I got it so bad at about 2am I felt like my throat was on fire. Between that an nausea, things are so much more intense then my last pregnancy (that ended in mc). Hopefully this is a good sign that this is a nice strong pregnancy!

Anxiety

I have so much anxiety this time around. With my Jackson, I was so easy going and just plain excited. When we decided to start trying again it took us 7 months and then we lost our baby at 10 weeks. It has taken us another 5 months to get pregnant again and now I am just soooooo nervous. I am trying so hard to remain positive and to push all bad thoughts out of my head, but it is hard. My first appointment is on March 31st, so I will feel a bit better then. At my first appointment the last time we found out we had already lost. They are taking me earlier this time around to help with my stress level. but it is still 2.5 weeks away!! Seems like forever.

We're Having a Baby!!!

After 12 months or trying and one miscarriage in the middle we are finally pregnant!! Yep, we're having a baby!!! We found out today!!!


**I know that it has been simply ages since I have posted anything on here, but because of our history of loss I wanted to make sure things were going well before I "spoke too soon". Things are perfect and happy, so I am now going to go back and post all of my journals and get myself up to date. I hope you all understand the delay!!!

You can go away now snow we are through with you!

So we've been feeling a little bit stressed out over here. Call it cabin fever, wintertime blues, sick-and-tired-of-being-stuck-inside-with-an-almost-three-year-old.... whatever. I normally love the snow; the more the better. But I have reached that peek that if we can't get outside and run around a bit soon I just might go looney. I'm tired of too much TV, too much whining and too much waking up at the crack of dawn (literally) because he is fully rested since he isn't burning off as much energy playing outside. I know spring will be here soon, but it just doesn't feel like soon enough.

 I have so many plans for this spring (and for Scott's sake it better come soon otherwise he will be up to his ears in Honey-Do Lists!) and I am super excited about getting too them! But right now I am sitting on my couch, watching the snow fall softly around us blanketing the world in quiet white. It is just beautiful, and I am going to keep reminding myself that while I listen to Little Man tell me how when it warms up we can go on a walk. I can't wait.

A is for Alligator

For a long time now Jackson has been able to SING the alphabet. But I can't really say that he actually KNOWS his alphabet, he gets letters right here and there but they are still pretty tricky overall. A few months ago we got him an alphabet puzzle, which he loves. But the letters are still difficult for him. There are just too many at one time to try and learn- 26 is a lot! So we have started a new project- A Letter a Day. We are going to focus on just one letter each day and hopefully that will take the confusion out of things a little bit. Today was the Letter "A" and he had so much fun doing our first picture "A is for Alligator" we had to do one more, "A is for Airplane."

After completing the pictures we went over to his Alphabet poster that hangs on his door and I asked him to show me where the "A" was. He studied it for just a moment and then was able to pick it out! An hour later we went over to the poster another time and again he spotted it. So then we went on a scavenger hunt and looked all over the house for the letter A, on cookbooks, movies, in the pantry, and each and every time he found the A's! I think this project just might work after all! Thanks to this awesome website call No Time for Flash Cards for the idea. She has so many cool art projects and pairs them with books and they are all catered to preschoolers. We have done tons of ideas and they never disappoint. Stay tuned for the next 25 letters in our learning adventure.

A Bit of a Mix Up

Jackson is growing in leaps and bounds- every single day he will say or do something that reminds me he isn't my little baby anymore, but a growing preschooler- amazing! Where in the world did the time go? When I am around little babies I am reminded of how sweet and special those times were and I do indeed miss them. But on the other hand we are just having SO MUCH FUN! Playtime is so cool now. He is really developing a sense of pretend play, so playing cars goes beyond just setting up "Line Ups". He has a multitude of construction trucks and equipment and we have created this game where we set up whole Construction Sites and act out all what the different trucks do, what the workers say to each other and add some silliness in there too. It started out with me just moving the cars around, making funny voices and acting out bulldozing, excavating, and other important worksite jobs. He would laugh, listen, and tell me which truck to do next. Now he completely takes part. He adds his own dialog and is even doing funny voices. It is so cool to see! And I am even noticing when I let him do his own independent play- me not involved, I hear him doing this completely on his own. He talks stories out and is truly "playing" with his toys. Makes me smile every time.


The past month or so I noticed a change also in the shows he was interested in watching on TV. They used to have to involve bright colors, and simple stories. He had zero interest in anything that didn't have songs or simple characters. Well his favorites have progressed into a bit older style of shows. His new favorites are Max and Ruby and Dora the Explorer. A mere few months ago you couldn't bribe him to sit through those shows- no matter how badly you needed a shower. He is also really starting to get into Disney movie's. We can actually sit together now and watch a whole movie begining to end. His personal favorites are Peter Pan and most recently Pinocchio.

In the beginning of one of his DVDs they show clips from the Wizard of OZ and I am never allowed to skip past them. He loved it, even though it was only a preview. Being as this is one of my most favorite movies of all time I was super excited. I own the movie and one afternoon I thought that I will pop it in and just give it a shot. OH. MY. GOODNESS. He LOVED it. It is now hands-down his favorite movie. He asks to watch it all the time and talks about it even more. We refer back to it in normal conversation about so many different things. For example, when I would go to Bible Study or my MUMs group I would tell him he needed to be brave in the nursery, to have courage. And he would then tell me "Just like Lion, Mommy?" We went to go get out Flue shots last week and he said he was going to have courage just like Lion and I would be proud of him. What a big boy to say something like that!! (And on a side note, he was insanely brave- never cried, whined or made a peep! the nurses were astounded that he laid so still and didn't cry. I was too!)

Well this fascination with the Wizard of OZ all started right around Christmas time. Right at the same time that there was a lot of discussion of Santa and the things he does and says. I would tell him "Santa says "Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas" and then we would watch the Wizard of OZ and he would hear the witch cackle "Heh Heh Heh my Pretties! I'll get you and your little dog too!" These two stories were surrounding him and his thoughts so much you can't blame him for mixing the two up a bit. I would ask him "What does Santa say?" and he would respond every single time with "Ho Ho Ho, my Pretties!" It didn't matter how much we corrected him and explained the mix up. He stayed true to his word and believed 100% that his version was the REAL one. Who's to argue with something as cute as that?! Not us, that's for sure!

Back, Refreshed and Ready to Write!

Life comes at you fast sometimes, you know? Sometimes it is just plain hard to keep up with everything that it throws at you- along with all the extras that you used to enjoy, like reading, writing or whatever else you would play at on the side. After loosing the baby I wanted to just pour myself fully and completely into my family. I wanted to focus on Jackson and Scott and make myself focus on just how truly blessed and lucky I am. It wasn't like I forgot or anything, but I wanted to really be present. Many of you have asked me if I was going to continue writing on here because it has been so darn long (October was my last journal- yikes!). Don't worry, I love this place and I don't plan on letting it go away! I never intended to be away so long. I would lay in bed and think about all the things I want to write about here- although i stopped writing, Jackson didn't stop doing or saying silly things. But when an opportunity to write came around I just had no desire. I would rather catch up on my shows, take a nap, or cook. Cooking and baking have both really become a big thing for me. I have always loved it, but as of recently it has also turned therapeutic. It is a wonderful way to bring what is in my heart on to the table. When a person eats something that is created with love they can actually taste it.

Jackson has become my little Sue Chef. We have so much fun creating together! And because of his involvement in the cooking, I am seeing his tastes and palette growing. He is getting so much more adventurous in what he eats these days. I am finding myself making special dinners for him less and less. He is just eating what Scott and I do, and i love it! So it turns out I just needed a little hiatus- a time to rest, recoup and get myself back. Here I am and it feels GOOD!

For a long time I have been wanting to have a place online where I could store my recipes, write about my cooking adventures, review restaurants and cookbooks, all that good stuff. Well, after giving myself the long deserved break of writing, I am now overflowing with ideas and I finally took the leap and created the Culinary Blog I had been thinking of for so long. Don't worry, it isn't going to take the place of this website whatsoever. I will just have both! I would love for you all to come and check out what I am doing on there, leave me comments and let me know if there is anything you would like to see featured. It is something I am super excited about and would love the feedback! It is called My Retro Kitchen. So go and grab yourself something yummy to warm your soul and take a look around. http://www.myretrokitchen.blogspot.com/

See you tomorrow- I've missed you guys!